


Car Park Confessions

by buckybabybaby



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Actually not much angst really..., Fluff and Angst, Mentions of alcohol, Other, Some crying, gender neutral reader, mainly fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-11-08 16:14:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11085237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckybabybaby/pseuds/buckybabybaby
Summary: Some regrets and many revelations.It's a sort of au where Bucky is a celebrity for some reason, maybe a singer, or an actor like Sebastian.Established friendship.





	Car Park Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually the first thing I wrote back in February when I decided to stop just imagining scenarios in my head and put them down on paper, and it's the first thing I ever wrote since school about eight years ago. Clichéd af but that's what I live for!

Three am. Too early and too late. The street lights burn your eyes as you lean on a traffic bollard outside the club, tuning out as your friends attempt to find a cab willing to take a trio of somewhat drunk party-goers with very little money. Cold hands to your cheeks startle you, and you find yourself staring into Wanda's face.

“Are you okay?”

You nod in answer, smiling softly. The chilly air is getting to you, and you stand up, wrapping your arms around yourself as you shiver. She pulls you into a hug, resting her chin on your head, and rubbing her hands up and down your back. Another set of arms encircle the two of you, warming you considerably.

“Y/N, do you mind giving me your phone?” Natasha asks you, and you pass it over without question. “Also, there's a bench just along here and I think we could all do with a sit down, come on.”

There's some good natured complaining about how cold the metal seat is, but once you're sat with your legs over Wanda's and her head on your shoulder, you're suddenly very tired.

“Don't let me fall asleep,” you mumble at the equally exhausted pile of limbs you're twisted up with.

“No promises.”

***

A car pulling up in front of your new 'bed' has you jolting back awake. You're alone on the bench, your two friends currently standing beside it talking with the driver of a very nice Audi that has you frowning as you try to place it. You sit and raise a hand to your hair in an attempt to smooth it down, before repositioning your top that has ride up your body a little too much, the exhausted sound you let out attracting attention.

“Oh good, you're awake,” Natasha grins, pulling open the side door of the car idling next to you. “Time to go home Sleeping Beauty”.

Eager to get out of the cold, and hearing your bed calling, you stumble up and slip ungracefully into the passenger seat. You reach for your seat belt and click it in place before turning to the driver and freezing.

“Hello Y/N.”

“... Bucky.”

You stare at him in shock, trying to process it. You had met Bucky at an awards ceremony you'd won tickets to three years ago, and you two had really hit it off, exchanging numbers. It was a purely platonic relationship on his side, just nice for him to have a friend who was living an 'ordinary' life, someone to relax with, none of the pressure of fame surrounding you.

On your side however, completely different story. Bucky was sweet and funny, clever and thoughtful with a mischievous side that had you falling deeper every time you met up. You had texted him earlier saying you were going out and he had replied that he was in town and if you needed anything 'just call', but this was crazy.

“You're in your pyjama's,” is the only thing you can think to say.

Glancing down at his pale grey bottoms, he smiles at you brightly.

“S'middle of the night, Y/N, most of us are in bed at this time.”

There's a hint of teasing in his voice, and you feel yourself blush, looking out the window at Natasha.

“Traitor,” you mouth at her, watching her give you two thumbs up before cackling.

She knows exactly how you feel about Bucky. She must have remembered you receiving his message earlier, how you'd whined about what a perfect boyfriend he'd be if he wasn't so far out of your league, and used it to her advantage to get a free ride home whilst embarrassing you.

“Are they getting in?” he asks, leaning over you to peer through your window, allowing you to smell his shampoo.

You go completely still, so much more aware of everything about him now you're slightly intoxicated, and willing yourself not to do anything stupid like pulling on his hair and kissing him. 

The realisation that, tipsy as you are, you now have enough courage to do something rash like that has you clasping your hands tightly together. Natasha and Wanda clamber into the back just in time to stop you, giggling when you turn to glare at them.

“Home then?” Bucky asks, pulling out into the road once they're buckled up.

Wanda hums, directing him towards her house and informing him Natasha's staying there as well. You frown as you try to remember if that was the plan, if you are going to Wanda's too, and almost scream when Bucky pokes your cheek to get your attention.

“You can stay at mine if you want?  We are going to hang out tomorrow anyway?”

He hands you a bottle of water and you drink half of it in one go, grateful as you consider his offer.

“Y/N will love that, what a thoughtful young man you are”, you hear Natasha reply for you, and before you can say anything she's continuing, “And then Y/N, you can tell him all about the guy you were making out with tonight.”

You find yourself frozen again. She didn't. She wouldn't have. But unfortunately for you she had. You've been staring at Bucky's hand on the steering wheel, noting the absence of the watch you gave him, and that's how you notice his grip tightening at her words. There's a tension in the car now, and you're pretty sure everyone can hear your heart beating wildly in your chest.

“Making out, huh?”

Bucky's voice is emotionless and his eyes don't leave the road. If you hadn't felt sober before, you definitely did now.

“Yeah well, Y/N's single and looks incredible this evening so why not. And you should have seen the guy, couldn't keep his hands to himself.”

Friendship officially over. You turn to stare at her in horror, but she looks back at you defiantly and you retract your previous inner statement. You know exactly what she's doing; trying to make him jealous. Ever since you'd introduced your friends to Bucky they'd been half giddy with the notion that he liked you back, in the same way you did.

So many times you'd had to remind them that he was _the_ James Buchanan 'Bucky' Barnes, with everyone who's attracted to guys throwing themselves at him, and you couldn't even get a text back. There was no way. He was caring and generous in a way you'd never experience before, but that was as far as it went, and you loved having him in your life too much to even entertain the idea he wanted more.

“Bye Y/N, enjoy the rest of your night.” 

You jump, having not noticed that the car had stopped, too caught up in your own thoughts. Natasha and Wanda stand on the curb outside Wanda's house, peering through your window, looking as innocent as ever. You sigh. You think they really do want the best for you, and it isn't their fault you'd got with some random guy, you had kissed him quite enthusiastically. Alcohol is bad, you decide. Waving at them, you shrink into your seat as Bucky starts the car again, turning back onto the main road.

 ***

You've forgotten just how far away Bucky lived, every minute of silence in the car increasing the awkwardness. Maybe you could fake sleep? No. And anyway you are too wired now, trying to judge Bucky's reaction, thinking of something to say to make it better, and wondering if you'll ever be able to look him in the eye again. 

Peeking over at him, you noticed his jaw was set and he seemed to be muttering something under his breath. The short laugh you let out by accident doesn't go unnoticed. He glances at you, raising at eyebrow in question.

“I'm sorry, but,” you clear your scratchy throat, realising you've not spoken in awhile, “You look a bit like an angry commuter during rush hour. But there's no traffic at half three in the morning...” 

Your sentence finishes in a murmur, seeing his mouth quirk a bit in amusement before he scowls out the window again.

“Maybe I'm not angry at the traffic.” 

His tone is quiet and harsh and you feel tears prick at the corner of your eyes.

“Are you angry at me?”

You're not sure you've ever sounded so vulnerable, and you hate the way your voice breaks a bit at the end. Bucky's been silent for too long now and you turn to watch the passing shops to try to stop yourself from crying.

Finally he's pulling into his drive way, pass the security and into the garage that stores his cars. Multiple cars. Never have the differences between the two of you been more obvious, and you search your pockets blindly for a tissue to wipe away the tears you can no longer hold back. A monographed handkerchief is pressed in to your hand and you whisper out a thanks before hiding your face in it. Bucky pulls you into his arms and you completely break down, loud sobs racking your body. Then he undoes your seatbelt and lifts you onto his lap, rocking you and shushing you softly.

It feels like forever before you can breathe properly again. Pulling away, you attempt to clear your face of the remaining tears, nodding in appreciation when Bucky hands you a clean handkerchief to blow your nose with. It's now you notice your position, on Bucky's lap red faced from crying. You pride yourself on not panicking in most situations, but now is not one of them, the door on his side of the car is opened quickly and you trip out into the dark car lot. Gripping the side of the car, you force yourself to take in air. 

Hands take yours and you meet Bucky's gaze properly for the first time since you got in the car.

“I am _so_ sorry doll,” he begins, ducking down to meet your gaze when you glance at the ground. “I'm not angry at you, I promise, is that why you're so upset?”

You swallow, nodding once. He swears quietly before taking a deep breath and continuing.

“I'm really not angry with you. I need you to understand this. If anything Y/N, I'm angry at myself. Angry for not taking the chance, believing I could wait around, that you'd still be single and that you'd even like me that way. I'm sorry for assuming, of course you can kiss other people. You know I don't expect everyone to like me just because of who I am, that's not how I live, and not what this is. I'd rather have you as just a friend than nothing at all, you're so important to me.”

He cuts himself off, looking slightly horrified. “I-I didn't mean to say all that, I-er, it's not an excuse, I just need you to know why I was being such a dick.”

He lets go of your hands to walk a few paces away, running his fingers through his hair before turning back to you. Your mouth is dry. Did he really just say what you thought he said?

“Bucky, I don't...” You stop, not sure what to say.

“It's okay, please don't say it, I've been here before. Well, not quite like this but everybody’s experienced unrequited love in some form at some point, I'll get over it. Eventually.” 

He pauses in his rambling to cup your face and look directly at you. 

“I can't lose you as a friend, Y/N, you're the best thing in my life right now, I don't think I could go on if I didn't have you to come home to.”

You can hear the ticking of the cars cooling engine behind you, it's so quiet in the garage after he finishes speaking. That was a lot to take in. Your brain is stuck on 'unrequited' though.

“Lets get you up to bed, yeah? I think there's some of your clothes in my room.”

 He takes your hand in order to lead you into the house but you don't move. 

“Y/N?”

“Did you say unrequited love?” 

Your voice is quiet but doesn't waver. He looks back at you, a blank expression on his face.

“Yeah, but like I said, I'll try to get over-”

“Does that mean you love me?” 

The pause after that is almost painful.

“Y/N? Are you trying to hurt m-” 

You interrupt him again. “It's not unrequited if I love you too, is it?”

It's your last chance at salvaging whatever the last five minutes have been, and you just blurt out what's in your heart. Bucky's staring at you, open mouthed, hand frozen in your own. Your heart rate picks up and you will yourself not too look away.

“Do you mean it?”

You can only nod, smiling through new, happy tears; the best kind. 

Before you know it he's rushing towards you, picking you up and spinning the both of you around. He lets you down for a second before lifting you up again in a more comfortable way, like a scene from every romantic film you've ever watched. 

Being spun around in the parking lot of Bucky's home at nearly four o'clock in the morning isn't exactly how you imagined the start of a relationship with him, and you'd imagined it a lot, but you realise that it's perfect despite everything.

“Doll, I am going to love the hell out of you, I promise.”

You giggle at that, swaying with him in his arms. That reminds you of earlier tonight, and everything that occurred in the club comes rushing back.

“I'm sorry, about tonight, with that guy, I didn't mean it, I just thought, well, I didn't think-”

He shushes you. “Nothing to apologise for, like Natasha said, you're a single, attract-”

“Not single any more, right?” You ask quickly.

“Not if I've anything to do with it.”

Bucky's face when he smiles at you is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen, and you beam right back at him.

“I'm the one who should be sorry, anyway, I understand why you'd feel I wasn't interested.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, I mean, it's been three years and I haven't said anything. Didn't want to lose you, you know?”

You sigh, realising that you could have said something ages ago too, so faults on both sides.

“Although,” he starts, looking a little shy, “I'm sure the internet had worked out how I felt about you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Remember when I told you to not read the comments on the tabloids website when they got picture's of us.” You nod. “Well, that wasn't because they were being mean.”

“No?”

“No, they were mainly talking about what a perfect couple we'd make. How I needed to find the courage to ask you on a date. I didn't want it to make you feel awkward, so I lied a little.”

You're stunned by this revelation. You'd always assumed the comments would be about how far Bucky was out of your league, how he was far more attractive than you could ever hope to be, and you tell him this. He frowns, tucking your hair behind your ear and tilting your head to face him

“Are you being serious, Y/N?”

“I mean, I just thought th-?”

“You must know your beautiful?” 

You shake your head, and he furrows his brow at bit more. 

“Really, because I've said it at least a hundred times. You, Y/N are the single most gorgeous, kind, intelligent person I've ever met, and, if you let me, I'm going to make sure you're reminded of that everyday from now.”

No more is said as you burst into tears once more. Bucky sounds confused as he mumbles words of comfort against your hair, and you push away from his embrace to reassure him.

“I'm okay, sorry about that,” you sniff before wiping your eyes on yet another clean handkerchief. “It's just that that's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me.”

“You deserve all the love, doll, and I promise I'll be here to give it to you for as long as you allow.”

You determine that to save you from the embarrassment of crying yet again, you need to shut him up. You hadn't imagine your first kiss with Bucky would be quite like this either, but as his arms tighten around you, you decide that you couldn't be happier any other way.

***

“Where'd you get all those fancy handkerchiefs from?” 

You're laying in Bucky's bed, having washed your face and cleaned your teeth. One of his t-shirts covers your top half, and your legs are tangled with his as he lays beside you.

“What?”

“Those hankies with your name on them. Are all your tissues like that?” 

He turns so his head is against your chest before answering.

“Steve got them for my birthday.” 

Oh. His response has you considering something you hadn't before. You don't reply for awhile, thinking, and you can tell Bucky's falling asleep but you need to ask.

“How's he going to be about this? Us? Will he be okay with it?” 

You've met his best friend quite a few times, at party's and such and you'd really liked him, always thinking him friendly, but this was different. From the way Bucky had talked about him you could tell they were fiercely protective of each other and you wondered how he'd react to you now.

“Well, it's my life, so he doesn't get much of a say, does he?” That has you tensing. “Besides,” he picks his head up to look straight at you, “He'll be pleased, he's been bugging me for ages to finally make a move.”

You relax back against the mattress, grinning in relief.

“Might even throw a party for us.” Bucky snickers into your shoulder, before pulling the covers over the two of you and twisting to get more comfortable. “Honestly, doll, he adores you. No need to worry at all.” A quick kiss is pressed to your hair. “Sleepy time now though, tomorrow I'm taking you on our first date.”

“Yeah?”

“Yep, best date you've ever been on, you'll see.” He yawns loudly, snuggling into you. “Sleep well, Y/N.”

Threading a hand into his hair, you whisper a goodnight, listening to his breaths even out. You're not sure who you should be thanking for this dramatic turn of events; twelve hours ago you'd been gushing about how perfect he was and now here he is in your arms. 

Deciding that perhaps the world spins on its own sometimes, and maybe this is precisely how you and Bucky were meant to get together, you fall into the best sleep you've ever had.

**Author's Note:**

> My [tumblr](http://buckybabybaby.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
